


Little Red Riding Hood (...sort of)

by KittenKin



Category: Little Red Riding Hood (Fairy Tale)
Genre: Fairy Tale Retellings, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 11:40:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17827868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittenKin/pseuds/KittenKin





	Little Red Riding Hood (...sort of)

The Brave Woodsman barges into the Grandmother’s house without so much as a by your leave, despite the lack of invitation or exigent circumstance. This is breaking and entering.

“Foul beast! I have come to rescue Red Riding Hood!”

“How did you know Red Riding Hood was here?”

“I have kept watch over this place, knowing your evil ways!”

“Yes, my evil breathing of air and drinking of water. How dare I. And are you only here because of the young one, not the Grandmother?”

“Er. Nay, I shall rescue them both.”

“Of course. I’m sure you wanted to hedge your bets by letting me eat first, so that I would be sated, sleepy and slow. Smart.”

“Uh…aye, for…ah…good shall triumph over evil in the end.”

“Your reasoning is as mighty as your powers of elocution. Still, I am confused as to why you did not warn Red Riding Hood away or simply attack me after I had eaten the Grandmother, but then I am but a simple beast of little wit. So, slay me you shall. And then what?“

“What?”

“And. Then. What. You will bid my hapless victims well and go on your way, chopping wood and trapping squirrels for your evening burgoo?”

“Bur…? Ah, no. I shall gain acclaim for having slain you and rescued Red Riding Hood and the Grandmother. And if Red Riding Hood be pleasing to mine eye, I shall take the fair one as my beloved and we shall live happily ever after!”

“And what if Red Riding Hood be fair of face but not well-inclined to you of heart?”

“Nonsense. I am the hero. Red Riding Hood’s heart and fate are mine.”

“Mm. Heard enough?”

Red Riding Hood steps out from the kitchen, the Grandmother’s hand steady on one wool-clad shoulder. The Brave Woodsman gapes at his would-be spouse, at his would-be Grandmother-in-law. At fair face with steely eyes, and rosy lips speaking cold words.

“Eat him.”


End file.
